Rock, Paper, Scissors

Something i have been thinking about recently (don’t ask me why) is the fundamental flaw in the classic  game ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors.’  Now i understand why Rock beats Scissors; if you tried to cut a Rock with Scissors they would become hideously blunt, rendering them essentially useless. Rock Wins. And Scissors beating Paper is clearly a no brainer. But why, oh why does paper beat Rock? It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Paper supposedly covers Rock…so what? The Rock can still blunt the Scissors if it’s covered in Paper. If you through a Paper covered Rock at someone it would still hurt. In my opinion the whole Paper ‘covering’ Rock rule is rubbish. In fact Rock should win in this scenario, or has everybody forgotten about paperweights?

Obviosuly we can’t just scrap the game entirely, it’s an essential arguement solver. How do you choose who gets the last rolo without it? But it definately needs a revamp!

The Big Bang Theory has  done this with it’s new version of the game…Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. Whilst amusing and adding drama with a greater number of outcomes, it still doesn’t adress the simple fact that Paper sucks, and in no way, shape or form does it beat Rock.

I think we need to step away from the original three components and start somwhere completely new; the problem i’ve encounted is that it’s difficult to come up with 3 equal footed contenders. I always end up with one that lets the side down! The closest i’ve come up with so far is Condom Sperm Baby. Condom blocks Sperm: Condom Wins. Sperm creates Baby: Sperm wins. Fear of Baby creates need for Condoms, marring the sexual experience for all. Baby wins. But it still doesn’t feel quite right.

Some of you may be thinking that i’ve given this far too much thought, and you’d have a valid point. But, whilst looking for links to illustrate my point i came across numerous websites that have gone into far greater geeky depth than i! Did you know for example that there is a ‘World Rock Paper Scissors Society’? The winner of their annual competitions gets $50k! With that amount of money at stake it’s no wonder that people take this game a little too seriously. There are a plethara of online ‘how to win every time‘ guides as well as seriously in depth studies of the psycological and statistical aspects of the game.

But despite the massive amount of geeky man hours that have gone into all this research, there is still one question that remains unanswered. Why the fuck does Paper beat Rock?


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. bashfulbadger
    Apr 06, 2017 @ 16:14:21

    I never got it either. It’s an American thing.


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